Children's behaviour & discipline

Just came across some good DVD's about children behaviours and how it has changed over the years. It's interesting to discover that as Nigal Latta (Politically Incorrect Parenting Show) said the word punishment has vanished from our vocabulary. Academics will frown at the word 'time out', most would disagree on smacking, this is something quite common growing up in my generation. Carrot and sticks always work in training animals, humans are fundamentally animals too, rewards will encourage our behaviours, and pain will put us off from certain behaviours. But wait, we don't treat our children like animals! Funny thing is sometimes we treat animals like our children.

As parents, I think we try our best not to encourage certain bad behaviours/ habits in our children. I think I try to avoid doing things to my children that I didn't like my parents did on me while growing up.

The method learned from Toddler Taming is to ignore bad behaviours as best we possibly can, in other words, do not give attention for bad behaviour. Dr. Christopher Green also recommends time out, as long as it's done with reasons and not too much. After viewing those 2 DVDs, I think toddlers behave like us too, when we don't get what we want, we'd be unhappy, but instead of throwing tantrum, we act differently. And when we're angry or upset, we need sometime to cool off too, I think this is how I see time out now.

One chapter I particular like is the 'Discipline - Putting Parents in Charge" from Toddler Taming, as sometimes I felt like my toddler is in charge of me. From now on, I'll try to ignore whenever my toddler is throwing a tantrum, with a bit of explanation as of why as well, and maybe asking her to join back when she's less upset.

Baby sleep training

Finally everything starts to go on track, I'm not a routine person, but I found that once I get a routine started, I get more prediction on what my day will be like and hence more time to rest and more free time for me to write blogs! There was a time I felt very stressful, as I felt like I was non-stop for the whole day, either changing nappies, cleaning, cooking or feeding.

Just was reading an article on sleep-training, it's quite interesting to find out that there are many methods to train our baby to sleep through the night. The article recommends training babies from 5 months, which is now for my baby. My first baby was sleeping through the night since she was around 3 months, but my second baby wakes up 4 hourly for feed until now.

The Sears Method seems to be more humane, it's called the no-cry method, it's about being flexible to change approaches (eg. cuddling, pacifier, nursing..etc), and being consistent to try one method for a while before changing approach. This method is created by Dr. William Sears who's an advocate of attachment parenting, his book is called The Baby Sleep Book: How to Help Your Baby to Sleep and Have a Restful Night. Other similar method include Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby.

Another method is the Cry It Out, also called the Ferber method which leaves the baby cry for a set period of time, and check to calm after the set period. Highlight is to put babies in the cot awake, and basically leave the baby cry until he/she sleeps on his/her own. His book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems has strategies to teach babies to have a good night sleep (and most importantly parents won't be overtired with sleep deprivation)

I heard parents from the hospital that says the Cry It Out method really work, and a day care centre manger also said, "Sometimes you'll need to be cruel to be kind." meaning letting the baby cry so they can learn to sleep on their own, which is good for both the baby and the parents. I've tried this at the beginning for my baby, sometimes she cried for about half an hour before falling asleep, which I think she's just too tired and dropped off. But every time when I went to her, she'd give me that sad look on her face whenever she awoke. So I try with the pacifier, and sometimes cuddling her for a while before putting her to the cot. I found that when I bath her before going to bed at night, she'd sleep for longer period. Now I'm getting smiles on her face whenever she sees me when she wakes up! :-)


As for my toddler, she loves watching DVDs, especially the Brainy Baby series, she now can recognise and count from 1-10. I think a reasonable TV time is good for children, those DVDs do the repetition, which is essential in toddler's learning, for us. iQ Toys has the DVDs at a good price. It's funny to see her said 'wee' and nodding her head to me once, she picked it up on the French preview!